Reflection on DNSP

September 26th , 2020

Reflection on DNSP

I am not sure Chaitali on the occasion of your Wedding shower it may be appropriate as a personalized gift but it is Kavita Saraf version of a reflection letter on our group DNSP ……All Saraf’s are aware of the letters that I have written from time to time to them and may be, by this time this DNP group members are also aware of my habit of writing. Since you are a core member of this group I thought, on this milestone of your wedding, it will be a nice personalized gift to you…….

22nd November 2017, none of us can forget that day as it was the first ever Gajanan Maharaj Naam Japa that started in Chicago land area. On the same day we all 4 families- Date, Naik, Saraf & Pol met for the first time together. Before that Date, Naik & Pol met each other for Vidyamavshi’s Mukhodgat Parayan probably the same year. Though we look upon as DNSP friendship anniversary as November 22nd 2017, which happened to be also Avadhoot’s birthday. For us Saraf’s, moving from downtown to Naperville, attending Naam Japa and talking to a group of Marathi speaking people who have a common thread of Maharaj bhakti was a very positive and vibrant experience. In the past we had attended one of the MMC Gudhi Padwa function, but we never felt so much connected with anyone. Whereas this experience was completely different and we felt ‘very welcome’ in the group. On that day we all spoke with each other and distinctly remembered each other. We had a feeling that we just attended a family function.

After attending the very first Naam Japa, I had an electrifying feeling, as if Maharaj listened to all my prayers till date and personally came to meet me. I was so grateful and narrated all this story to Tai & Mai …they were also very amazed to listen to an experience and said it is just because you believe so much in Maharaj that he had to come for you there….I was very happy.

After the first Naam Japa when other monthly Naam Japas were announced, we had an excitement of meeting each other again. Another thing that I distinctly remembered was all the kids were excited to meet other kids and kids were all taken care of in terms of food, juice and no elder ever expressed any slightest frown on kids’ sometimes naughty behavior. Tai and Mai always used to get worried about Sana & Swara as both may become aloof as they do not get much chance to mingle with their age kids or there are very rare chances that we meet Maharashtrian families.

Our kids get a chance to get together with other Maharashtrian family kids, we get a chance to pray Maharaj and contribute to prasad and get to mingle with similar minded people was a very unique experience. In those monthly Naam Japas, we D-N-S-P rarely missed any Naam Japa and were kind of always together for prasad lunch/dinner. Some point in time we came to know that 3 of the 4 girls are maiden Kulkarni’s. We all started realizing that we all speak same – Maharashtrian-Brahmin-madhyam vargiya-language, share same values and believe in Maharaj …..as time passed by, I started to cultivate a feeling as if all these people are from my Maher. (mother’s side), as if I have been knowing them from many years. Tai used to tease me ‘chalali maherchya lokana bhetayla!!!’

Thereafter for some or the other Maharaj event we used to meet each other; from devotees we became volunteers. Together we planned, organized, executed many Maharaj programs and became confident that we can work together with each other. All of us used to always enjoy each other’s company and always had a common feeling that we like this group as nobody wants to show-off anything and all are very down to earth.

Over the period we became close friends and started to meet for other social causes, we did small picnics together, watched movies together, visited restaurants. Made fun of each other, teased each other. Sana used to always say it to me & Rahul that if ‘Aai-Baba are with DNP group, most of the times they only hear giggles and chuckles’. ‘They are not bored at all with this group which is unlike in any other group so far’. Our kids started enquiring each week, what is the plan for this week? where are we meeting? What are we doing? I admit saying that all of us have developed a common ‘DNSP’ thinking. We have a reference of DNSP at the back of the mind while doing any day to day task or taking any small-big decisions. It has really become a ‘DNA’ of our thinking. If we do not meet any week then it becomes so much restless for all of us, that as if you have been deprived from meeting your family members.

During the journey of 3 years each one of us, at different point in time for varied reasons were ‘vulnerable’, but we always stood behind each other to help the other. It is as if an unwritten rule amongst us to provide unconditional support to each other, no questions asked. By this time, we were all ‘settled’ thoroughly in this family group as opposed to just remain friends. We always encourage each other and have a confidence that if we are together we can make any difficult task a success. Dates are excellent at maintaining Relations (PR), Naiks are at all time high of their popularity amongst all. Pols are very good at art, craft, party organization and adding a much-needed spice element to parties. For Saraf, apart from penning the events and photography, I am still exploring what we are good at, that makes us integral part of DNSP.

Our parents started praising about our friendship as if these DNSP men are modern brothers from Ramayan. …..but when you are into a family relationship you don’t even realize that you are doing anything exceptional for your other family member as it has become a habit of always thinking as a group and none of us ever expect any reciprocity….i am not sure whether we are exactly on the path of ‘Nishkam Karmayog’ but there is something ‘surreal’ with this relationship. We always heard that we come together for a reason or maybe we owe something to each other from our past lives….. ‘Runanubandh’ or maybe the sole reason behind we meeting each other maybe to continue do the Gurukarya and get purified along the way. Whatever we do Maharaj is behind us …so now I have stopped wondering about this miracle.

I am not a psychology expert but I have developed a ‘Theory of bonding’ on my own which says that any relationship will always have an ‘upward trending graph’ which usually gets to its ‘peak’ over the period of time and then comes a ‘turning point’ in the form of difficult incidents/events, at this juncture there are 2 possible outcomes - a ‘breaking point’ or a ‘steady state high’ which is usually higher than the peak point. People who are mentally strong or stable enough can pass through that breaking point, regain their trust and the relationship flourishes and goes higher than the peak point but it remains at the ‘steady state high’ thereafter.

I feel we have experienced these difficult incidents among some of this groups’ families, but we all were very matured to let any misunderstanding fade away and gave each other space and time to gain back that oneness feeling. As a DNSP group too we faced this challenge when we decided to break apart from bigger Gajanan Maharaj group. That time too, we just simply hold each other’s hands and did not let anyone down and were striving that none of this group’s family members should get negatively affected with the chaos happening around us. Because of our Maharaj bhakti we passed through this difficult phase. After this incident, I feel we got reconnected with each other stronger than before and for now going through the steady state high.

We don’t know what is in the future but have a confidence that Maharaj brought us for some divine purpose, and we will continue to be good friends-family members. I have first-hand experienced such tight friendship of my father (Dada) and his friends. He also had a group of 4, Kulkarni-Gadgil-Patwardhan-Shevde –for more than 40 years. Even though some of these friends are no more their friendship continued.

On this Thursday of Sep 24th on Chaitu’s wedding registration day, somehow we both - Rahul & I had a parental feeling of our own daughter getting married and prayed that everything should be perfect for her as per her wish. So I completed the full parayan and while returning from temple after taking ‘Aashirvad’ from Maharaj, both of us had tears in our eyes….as if our daughter is celebrating her big day….

I am not sure why exactly I started thinking about all this in English versus in Marathi but I thought that it may be a good memory lane walk through for our kids and ‘Chaitu’ being the eldest daughter of the DSNP family, will also cherish these memories of 3 years and will be happy to know that we are always there for her as ‘maherchi manase’. Don’t want to sound like ‘Kaku updesh’ but I also think my theory of relationship will also provide some positive angle which can be useful as Chaitu is starting new chapter of her life.

All the best!!!

© Kavita Saraf